A quick note

I’ve been off of my wordpress for a couple months. In that time I went off meds and I’ve relapsed in my sexual addiction spent more money than I should have and just overall let myself spiral again.

The good news is that I feel stabilized on my new medication Abilify. I had a full psych evaluation completed which I am waiting on the results from.

I cannot stress enough not to go off meds without consulting your physician first and when doing so one must be completely honest. Part of me thinks coming off the celexa before coming off the oxcarbezapine is what sent me into a manic state but there is no telling at this point because I did it on my own without physician oversight.

The bad news, with my most recent relapse I have likely pushed my wife away past her breaking point. I am still trying but the level in which I broke her trust has her doubting my motives and my trustworthiness and rightfully so. Living apart doesnt help either and that is my living situation based on my failure to adhere to my wife’s boundaries in the past. I’ve asked alot of her and I put myself in the situation in which I am in now where I must figure out how to rebuild from afar.

I start my solo affair recovery program this week and i feel hopeless. I signed up for it knowing that it might be too little too late but I’ve got to try everything.

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